I haven't updated in FOREVER

WOw!!!! Two babies is so much DIFFERENT than 1!!! Its nothing harder i just have to budget my time a bit differently. When kayden was an infant i didn't have a five year old to wake him every time he fell asleep. I didn't have a dying grandmother that required round the clock care. And i was a heck of a lot YOUNGER!!! I know people will roll their eyes at me but I feel old at 25.

It breaks my heart that i can't get down on the floor and play with the boys. I can't even pick him up off the floor it kills me! My backs been pretty bad! I get to have injections in a week and for that i'm grateful and very excited!

Elijah is SOOOO BIG. He's SOOO sweet! and he's all mine!!!

He's a mommas boy. now that he can grasp he holds onto my shirt or collarbone (yes ouch) or my hair and he won't let go of me! He fusses when i try to pass him off... and he looks at me like i'm his hero! I LOVE IT! By this time kayden had fallen head over heels for papa.

Kayden is excelling! We were having some very very huge behavior issues.. Kayd couldn't concentrate. Was frustrated and wasn't processing. He would get angry because he couldn't control the issue and it always seemed to snowball. Kayd's doc and i sat down together and decided we needed to do something to treat it. I'm not a fan of drugs to fix problems but i really truly think he needs it. I know that there are lots of parents that just don't want to deal with their five year old being five so they medicate. this goes so much further!

Kayd has been on the drug for a week now and the difference is NIGHT AND DAY!!! its unreal!!!! He is so well mannored. He doesn't push the rules. He isn't mean. He is making such awesome choices! i can't even believe he's the same kid! He can concentrate more... has already been counting higher. getting his letters and numbers right by recognition! I'm pleased! I've got my baby back! he had so much potential that just was being suppressed!

and in other news.

I went to visit Kens family and long story short he finally by accident met his child for thefirst time yesterday. He didn't try... he didn't make an effort he just tripped into it. and i'm angry because it was that easy
and i'm angry becuase he's now in love with "HIS" kid... the one he's been screaming for a test for. He said he wants to see him and he wants to pay support... and we all know i won't see a penny! Its just dumb!!!

I haven't processed it yet so i am just throwing it out in the raw